Chapter Seven

Mr Jamie and the Tickling Honda opened up the map and laid it out on the bottom of the cot. Beth helpfully sat her bottom on one of the corners so it didn't blow away, although she did then lean over and start licking the map. The Tickling Honda looked a bit worried but Mr Jamie told him it was okay. Beth was always eating weird stuff, and as long as it wasn't something she could choke on then it didn't matter too much. (Although she'd once tried to eat her own poo, which was DISGUSTING. Babies were a bit mad like that.)

The map was quite old and the paper had gone brown and crinkly. There were lots and lots of islands drawn all over it, with some little letters next to them which Mr Jamie couldn't read (because he hadn't gone to school yet), but which he thought probably said what the island was called. Then there were some pictures of boats, and some pictures of trees, and some pictures of really scary looking sharks in the sea. Mr Jamie hoped that the Tickling Honda's island wasn't too near any of those.

"Tickling Honda, which one is your island?" Mr Jamie just hoped the Tickling Honda knew what his island was called. And also that he could read what the words on the map said. Otherwise they were going to be away from home for a long time, and he was a bit worried that the Tickling Honda wouldn't have enough nappies for Beth.

"Ummmmmm ... I'm not sure", said the Tickling Honda. Oh NO. Mr Jamie felt quite cross with the Tickling Honda. How could he not know what his island was called.

"Well now what are we going to do?", asked Mr Jamie. "We can't possibly go and see all of these islands. Beth is going to run out of nappies and Mummy and Daddy are going to be really really worried and very cross with you. Mummy will probably have her angry bottom, and you won't like that at all, will you?

"Oh no", said the Tickling Honda. "I definitely don't want to see your Mummy's angry bottom. That sounds really frightening. But I want to find my island. I want to go home and see my lovely hammock and my statue of the big bottom for tickling. I'm scared I might not ever see them again." And the Tickling Honda sat down in a heap and started to cry.

Mr Jamie didn't know what to do. Mummy and Daddy usually looked after people when they were crying. Mummy would give him or Beth a cuddle, and tell them not to be sad, and Daddy would sometimes sneakily tickle them so they would start laughing instead of crying. Mr Jamie wondered whether he should tickle the Tickling Honda, but he didn't know whether the Tickling Honda would like that. He might get even sadder because it was someone else doing the tickling, and because he didn't have his statue of the big bottom to tickle. Poor Tickling Honda.

Mr Jamie looked down at the map, which was now getting rather soggy, what with the Tickling Honda crying on it and Beth licking it. Mr Jamie used the corner of his Ben 10 duvet to dry it a bit, and as he did he saw something in the middle of the map. There was one island there, a really tiny one, and right next to it Mr Jamie could see a picture of a pig ... and a picture of a frog! Just like the Tickling Honda! Surely, surely, that had to be his island!

"Tickling Honda, Tickling Honda!" Mr Jamie was VERY excited. "Look! Look here! Does that look like your island?!" He pointed at the frog/pig island, and the Tickling Honda gave a big snotty sniff and looked over, wiping his eyes on the back of his frog leg.

"Yes! Yes it is! Oh WELL DONE Mr Jamie. That's definitely my island. Look at that big bottom in the middle of it there. That's my statue, that is, and just next to it is my hammock, and my little cave, and my big pile of Plookies. Oh, I miss it so much. Now we can go back there."

"Tickling Honda?" Mr Jamie was a bit confused. "I can see that's your island, and I can see it's there on the map ... but where are we on the map? Where is this cot now? How can we go and find your island if we don't know where we are now?"

The Tickling Honda looked very upset. "Oh no. You're right. We can only follow the map if we know where we are, and I don't know where we are at all. I'm never going to get home." And he burst into big snotty tears, all over again.

Mr Jamie didn't like seeing the Tickling Honda looking so sad, and he thought he had a plan which might work.

"Tickling Honda? If you can get this cot to go back down on the ground then I know what we can do. Mummy has a thing called a 'sat nav'. It's like a little man who sits in your car and tells you where to go. If we got the cot down on the ground we could find a sat nav, and then we could put it on the cot, and then we could ask the man to take us to your island. Is that a good plan?"

"I don't know what a sat nav is", said the Tickling Honda, "but that sounds like a brilliant plan. The only trouble is, we'll have to be very careful to make sure we don't get seen. I don't like being seen by people, in case they catch me and put me in a zoo. Do you think you can help me to hide?"

"Of course I can", said Mr Jamie. "I'm brilliant at hiding, and Beth is too, only sometimes she gets a bit shouty. That's okay though, we can just find her dummy and then she will be all quiet and sneaky while she has that and we can get the sat nav and then go again before anyone sees us."

"Brilliant", said the Tickling Honda. "Right then. Brace yourself shipmates. We're going DOWN." And with a shudder, and a strange magical shout from the Tickling Honda, the cot suddenly jolted into action and started plummeting down ... down ... down ...