... the Tickling Honda.
Mr Jamie blinked. The Tickling Honda blinked back.
‘Tickling Honda, what are you doing outside the cot? Quick, you need to get back inside, in case any of those naughty Cloud Pirates see you and try and get you.’ Mr Jamie felt a bit worried in case the Cloud Pirates stole the Tickling Honda. He wasn’t sure he would be able to drive the cot without the Tickling Honda’s magic. He didn’t even have a driving licence.
‘I’m not the Tickling Honda. Look, he’s over there?’ Mr Jamie looked over to where the Not Tickling Honda was pointing – and saw it was right. There was the Tickling Honda, still snoring loudly underneath Mr Jamie’s Ben 10 duvet. But if the Tickling Honda was there...
‘Who are you?’ Mr Jamie was very confused.
‘I’m Tickling Vonda.’ The Tickling Vonda looked worried. ‘Can you let me into the cot, then I can talk to you properly?’
Mr Jamie wasn’t concentrating. He was looking at the Tickling Vonda’s face. ‘Are you wearing lipstick? Are you a girl?’
‘Yes, I’m a girl. Now can I come in please, before any of those naughty Cloud Pirates spot me and try and trap me in one of their ships.’
‘Um. Okay.’ Mr Jamie moved out of the way and made Beth come with him. He didn’t want her to try and eat the Tickling Vonda like she did with the Cloud Pirate. Beth licked his nose. Babies were so weird.
The Tickling Vonda did what looked like a little jump on her frog legs and suddenly was inside the cot with Mr Jamie and Beth and the Tickling Honda. There wasn’t very much room left so they had to all scrunch up together. Beth helpfully sat on the Tickling Honda’s head so that he woke up with a fright.
‘WHAT’S HAPPENING?’ He looked around. ‘Are there any Cloud Pirates around? And who’s this?’ The Tickling Honda looked very confused. ‘You look just like me. Except I don’t wear lipstick.’
The Tickling Vonda sighed. ‘I’m Tickling Vonda. I knew through my special magic that you were coming and I’ve come out here to warn you. You mustn’t go back to your island. The Cloud Pirates have invaded it. They’re sleeping in your hammock and they’re even’ – she gulped – ‘tickling your special statue of the bottom.’
The Tickling Honda went quiet. Mr Jamie thought he might be crying. Beth helpfully stuck her fingers up his nose and did a big fart which made everyone laugh, even the Tickling Honda.
‘But how come you look like me? I don’t understand. I’m the only Tickling Honda in the world.’
‘I know you are’, said the Tickling Vonda. ‘Just like I’m the only Tickling Vonda. But there are others like us as well. We’ve just all been on different islands. I didn’t know either until Tickling Conga came to visit me on my island. The Cloud Pirates had taken over his island and stolen all of his dancing shoes to wear as ear muffs for when their cannons got too loud for them. He came to find me and tell me. It sounds like the Cloud Pirates are trying to take over our islands and make sure we’ve got nowhere to live any more. We have to stop them. Tickling Conga told me he’d heard that you’d found Mr Jamie and Beth to help you get your island back from the Cloud Pirates. So I came to help you.’
Everyone looked at the Tickling Honda. His head was down and he was looking at his frog toes. Mr Jamie was worried about him.
‘Tickling Honda, are you okay?’
‘I just want to go home. I want to go back to my little island and sleep in my hammock and tickle my bottom statue. I don’t want the Cloud Pirates to tickle it.’
Mr Jamie felt quite angry. He was going to make sure the Tickling Honda got to see his bottom statue again. ‘Tickling Honda, me and Beth are coming with you. And Tickling Vonda too.’ She nodded. ‘And maybe even Tickling Conga, if we can find him. We’re going to go back to your island and find those naughty Cloud Pirates and make them GET OUT. And maybe Beth will throw one of her stinky nappies at them. That will REALLY scare them.’
‘YABAYABAYABA’ said Beth in agreement, and pulled the Tickling Honda’s pig tail to try and make him get up and start fighting. He looked round at them all.
‘Oh... okay. Thank you. That would be very nice.’
‘HOORAY!’ said Mr Jamie and Beth and the Tickling Vonda. ‘We’re going to have a WAR! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!’
